Mind Dump

I feel like I have left so much out, so I will simply start at the beginning. The following blogs will be by city.

A warning that this will be a mix of own personal feelings and what I've been doing. Unless you don't mind getting trapped in the maze that is my mind, you may want to skim! Another warning is that I may repeat what I have already said as I don't remember what I have written.

Pre-Trip

I believe that I mentioned I spent the week before getting ready. Errands to Target and REI. I also spent hours looking for skirts to take with no luck. Did all the beauty stuff to look my best :). I remember mentioning how stressed I was because I hadn't checked into my Amsterdam - Athens segment. I wasn't sure how close or far my gates were. Long story short, I made it.

Planning this trip was stressful too. I originally was going to travel with a friend, but she wasn't able to make it. I had been going through different scenarios in my head. I originally really wanted to go to Egypt and Israel but my budget wasn't there this year. I also thought Spain, Morocco, and Portugal.

I've mentioned I love Rick Steves. Some of the other tour companies have all these add in costs that make their trips hard to budget for. Tips, excursions (which are normally things you would want to do). A good example is that on this tour a visit to the Acropolis is a 65 euro optional excursion. Sorry, don't most people who come to Athens want to go there? So shouldn't that just be a part of the tour? Basically, I feel that they are paying for your place to stay, but you are paying for what you want do and figuring out how to get there on your own. It's my own personally soap box, I know this.

I may have mentioned I seriously considering canceling the whole trip. I was very doom and gloom in my mind, but it had less to do with the trip and more to do with my own current internal struggle. Human beings are amazing. We have the capacity to do great things. As we struggle with our own short comings and our our insecurities, we can prevent ourselves from doing great things. I am very aware that I am my own worse enemy. Once I decide on something, it happens. Period. It's only when I go back and forth and hem and haw that nothing gets done. It's also when I let my own fears and insecurities hinder me that I sit in my mess and suffer. So, I had to battle myself to even get on the airplane and come here. The night before I left, I was up part of the night thinking about why I shouldn't go.

My sister Cathy drives me crazy. She voices a lot of her internal struggles, and I get upset, and I am like get over it. Meanwhile, I suffer in silence over my own demons. I'm ready to face them head on. Why suffer in silence? As I hear people talk, I realize when it comes down to it, we have more in common and all are struggling with something. It's actually comforting to know we are dealing.

The message spoke by my pastor before I left was about a shift. I spend a lot of time focusing on what I don't have. What I haven't done. I should focus on what I have and what I have done and what I can do and will do with the right planning and attitude.