GPS System

As usual, my mind is working overtime.

My thought for today is along the lines that God is like a GPS system.

The one thing that always intrigued me about the GPS System is how it automatically adjusted directions based on where the car was going. I noticed that a GPS would say turn right in 50 meters. If for some reason, the right turn was missed (i.e. the driver wasn’t paying attention, was in the wrong lane, or got distracted) it would automatically adjust the directions from where the car was heading.

There is no loud voice that says you idiot you missed your turn. The system just calmly tells you the next set of instructions based on where you are at. The destination is the same, but the route taken has changed.

Let’s face it. During this walk we all make mistakes, take wrong turns, and flatly make other stops along the way, but God still patiently leads us to our destiny.

Speaking of destiny, I have some idea of where I am going. I just have no idea of how God plans to lead me from where I am to where I am going.

It’s a constant juggle of my desires and passions and learning to ask if they are God’s will in my life. I would like to say that because of the intensity of some of my desires they are what God would have for me, but I have to admit that some of the things I want are not good for me. They are, as my pastor would say, slippery slopes.

Passionate Kisses. Long Embraces. Searing Looks.

I want to be in love so bad!

I blame my friend Alice. She’s moving to Hong Kong, and she gave me all these trashy romance novels that I ended up actually reading. You know the ones. Passionate Kisses. Long Embraces. Searing Looks. I’m reluctant to even type all that. Ah, to be the heroine swooning in the arms of a strong, vibrant hero.

As an English major, I’m ashamed to have such poorly-written material in my house. That’s why they are neatly hidden and not on my book shelves. The horror, the horror of anyone knowing my dirty little secret.

I’m mortified to even say I went into a Half Price Books and picked up more. It was so shameful, that I didn’t risk going into my regular/favorite Half Price Book store. I have a friend who works there and would be so embarrassed of him witnessing my purchases.

Yes, I want to be in love so bad!

Of course, in reality, relationships are hard. I don’t expect happily-ever-after. I do expect to put in the work needed to keep the relationship fresh and new. I have seen too many examples where people have stopped trying or people have gotten distracted by other people.

Yes, I want to be in love, and I am ready to love. I just needed some steamy love stories to get me to admit it.

God Told Me To...

I am very aware of the fact that there are a lot of things that I want to do. I normally do them and then seek God’s blessing when I am full steam into my project or idea. I may take for granted that my steps are indeed ordered by the Lord.

I am not one of those people who say, “God told me to….” I normally brace myself when people start conversations with me with the lines “God told me to…”

I certainly believe that God does talk to His people. It’s just that most of the times when I hear this line my honest thought regarding what follows is along the lines of are you sure that God told you that?

I firmly believe that God does not tell people to do anything that is outside of His Word. At least, not the God that I know.

I think people should just be more honest. I am doing this because I want to do it. It would be more truthful. It would be more authentic. It would be more believable.

It’s hard to refute people when they bring God into things. I just think that people need to know God a little more before they place Him in the mess they create because of something they want or wanted to do.

Rhythm

I realize that I am totally off beat right now. Somewhere along the way (after my aunt’s death), I lost my rhythm. I thought I was starting to get it back, but this week is leading me to believe this is not true.

I’m not quite myself. In some ways, I am acting out. Now that I think about it, this happened after my sister’s death as well. Death isn’t an excuse or reason to lose myself. As life goes on, there will be more loss, and I need to learn to deal with it.

Words and actions can’t be taken back and I realize this and fight this impulse to make rash decisions that would be very costly in the long run.

And this too shall pass.

Letting Go

There are some things that I have held onto so tightly. Things that were so important and meant so much and the thought of a separation was unimaginable. It’s curious to me when these things that have been held so sacred one day no longer cease to matter. There is something sad in this to me.

In some ways, it makes my fascination or attachment with these things seem trivial. It’s like if I hold on tightly and don’t let go then the madness of the action, attraction, obtainment of said thing isn’t as questionable.

I noticed as I was cleaning out my place that I got rid of some items that at one point in time were so important to me and now my taste or interest or desire has lead me in another direction.

In holding so tightly (in a fist) to things that I think I want I am preventing God from placing things in my hand that I actually need.