Forgiveness

I wrote this a couple of years ago. Letting go of the past is crucial for moving into the future.


Forgiveness is not a choice.

In some ways, it pains me to say that. There are people who have hurt me so bad that I feel I have the right to hate them with a perfect hatred. I feel I am justified for the anger and the bitterness I feel towards them. The grudge I have towards them is like the Energizer bunny; it keeps going and going and going.

Forgiveness is a commandment.

I was listening to the radio on the way home from Bible Study on Wednesday. The topic was forgiveness. The guest speaker said he reads the following scripture every morning:

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.

We can’t pick and choose who we decide to forgive. Not forgiving whatever my aunt, mom, dad, Johnnie, Susie, ___ did is not worth losing my mind or salvation.

It’s been a year (or two, three, etc.), but I’m still bitter. In the meanwhile the other person has moved on. In the meanwhile, the bitterness is causing stress in my relationships with other people. It’s causing stress in body. I firmly believe that some physically illnesses are manifestations of internal conflict. The devil is a liar. My right to be angry, bitter, and disillusioned are not worth my health. Women tend to let fools, and let’s face it the dude was a fool, hurt them to the point that they don’t trust other people. This lack of trust damages all relationships you have with those around you. Your anger is misdirected towards innocent people.

I would like to encourage you, as we close out 2003, to think about people you know you have issues and beef with. Once you determine that, for your own sake do whatever you need to do to let it go and move on. Write them a letter. Talk to them about it. Talk to God about it. Ask him to help you release that person. Stop focusing on the past and look to the future. What is your divine destiny? Can you really reach it if you are hung up on the issues of the past?

As we refuse to forgive someone, we also tend to sit in judgment of that person. For me, I have cursed and condemned people because of my self-righteousness. (Pray for me please). We will all reap what we sow. If that person needs to be thumped on the head, let God do it. Whatever God does is better than anything I could think, do, or say.

Are any of us that perfect that we can condemn and judge people? Forgiveness not being a choice also frees me. It frees me to forgive myself. It frees me to say that most people who hurt me did not do it intentionally. They may have been acting out of their own hurt or immaturity – hurting people hurt people. They may have been doing the best they could with what they had. Or, like me, they could hurt others out of an unhealthy self defense mechanism.

Whatever the reason, open your hand and let go of the past. Open up your heart and mind to the future. Don’t hold people a prisoner to their past (There go I but by the Grace of God). I know I don’t want to be held a prisoner to mine.

Lord, help me to love with a perfect love.

“But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”