Hello Friends and Family:
First of all, I forgot the EU keyboard was slightly different. LOL. I keep typing in email addresses and passwords wrong!
I have made it to Wales! I was able to catch an earlier train than I expected so I got to Wales around 1700 instead of 1800.
I'm a little out of it, but I will make my self stay up tonight to try to adjust. I need to eat that is for sure.
I'm very glad I decided to come here after all. I really went back and forth on whether to come or just hang out in London. It's very peaceful here and it's on the water so I am in love.
I wrote down notes from leaving my house to getting on the train. I will have a lot to say once I am not so light-headed. My body is a little confused right now but it will be fine in a few days give or take.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Away We Go!
For the next weeks, this will become my travel blog. I am so excited! I have placed the countries I want to visit into Tiers A, B, and C. (For some reason, Thing 1 and Thing 2 just popped into my head!). The British Isles are most certainly in Tier A. This visit, I will explore Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. I will need to return. There is not enough time to see all that I want to see. I need to return to England as well. I was able to tour London a few years ago. When I went, there was flooding, and I was not able to explore Cambridge, Oxford, Hadrian’s Wall, Bath, etc.
This year is definitely different. I normally feel a serious pang of homesickness right before my trip. I then consider a postponement of the trip, and I start missing everyone like crazy. This year, well maybe a little, but not so much.
I am ready to go, and the timing is perfect for me to get away and re-evaluate my life. Life is way too short. I am very aware that in this season of my life, I am relatively free to use my time to satisfy the desire I have to travel. Oh, if only time and money were not an issue (smile). I was talking to my cousin about life. We agreed that if we had known then what we know now…well let’s just say life would have been different. This is not to say that it would have been better because we could all shoulda, woulda, coulda all day and never know what would have happened.
I just know that I don’t want to look back in 15 years (at 50) and wonder what happened and why I missed out on fulfilling my life’s dreams and desires. No, I plan to win in this game called life. Am I not more than a conqueror?
So I invite you to check back in a few days or so (Wednesday at the latest), and walk with me as I journey through the U.K. It’s going to be awesome!!! I will try to stick to the facts and not subject you to my musings on life. Notice I didn’t promise!
This year is definitely different. I normally feel a serious pang of homesickness right before my trip. I then consider a postponement of the trip, and I start missing everyone like crazy. This year, well maybe a little, but not so much.
I am ready to go, and the timing is perfect for me to get away and re-evaluate my life. Life is way too short. I am very aware that in this season of my life, I am relatively free to use my time to satisfy the desire I have to travel. Oh, if only time and money were not an issue (smile). I was talking to my cousin about life. We agreed that if we had known then what we know now…well let’s just say life would have been different. This is not to say that it would have been better because we could all shoulda, woulda, coulda all day and never know what would have happened.
I just know that I don’t want to look back in 15 years (at 50) and wonder what happened and why I missed out on fulfilling my life’s dreams and desires. No, I plan to win in this game called life. Am I not more than a conqueror?
So I invite you to check back in a few days or so (Wednesday at the latest), and walk with me as I journey through the U.K. It’s going to be awesome!!! I will try to stick to the facts and not subject you to my musings on life. Notice I didn’t promise!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Smooth Criminal
Last week, I went to see a few movies. Both times, I went to McDonalds to pick up dinner. I decided to “sneak” the food into the theater, and so I tucked it in my bag. The second time I did my hiding act, I realized I wasn’t fooling anybody. The smell of French fries was clearly emanating from my bag. I got a good chuckle out of the whole thing.
It got me thinking about the law. When certain crimes happen, people are so quick to use the word criminal. What I realized is that most of us are criminals. Please, stay with me.
It’s like sin. People have this habit of placing sin in these stratospheres of big sin and little sin. Sin is sin is sin. No big sin; no little sin, just sin.
When it comes to crime, you are either breaking the law or not breaking the law. People making u-turns are criminals. People talking on their cell phone or texting while driving are breaking the law and therefore criminals. There is no stratosphere of crime, however, we have dictated punishment based on what we as a society feel is suitable to the crime.
This gets my blood boiling and on a new tangent of how different people are perceived a different way for the same crime and action. As a black woman, this is something I think about all the time. If you don’t believe me, watch the news and read the newspaper. Watch the placement of pictures with crimes. If there is no picture, it is normally a white person who has committed the crime. If the person who committed the crime is of color, believe there will be a picture. I know; I have paid attention to it!
Now, back to the fact that crime is crime. I came to this conclusion because I am so tired of people saying what they would NEVER do with judgment against the person who committed the crime or sin. I have concluded that I know what I am prone to do. None of that worries me. What worries me is the things I am prone to do but have no idea I am capable of doing it.
I call it accidents waiting to habit. The right time the right temptation could equate to an accident. Speaking of accidents, a hit and run is my case-in-point situation. Now, I would like to think if I accidently hit a pedestrian or a bicyclist, I would stay and not flee.
Who knows what is going on through some one’s mind that hit and run? Fear. Flight. Panic? I have no idea. But it a good example for what I am trying to say. We can’t say what we would or would not do unless we are faced with that test.
It got me thinking about the law. When certain crimes happen, people are so quick to use the word criminal. What I realized is that most of us are criminals. Please, stay with me.
It’s like sin. People have this habit of placing sin in these stratospheres of big sin and little sin. Sin is sin is sin. No big sin; no little sin, just sin.
When it comes to crime, you are either breaking the law or not breaking the law. People making u-turns are criminals. People talking on their cell phone or texting while driving are breaking the law and therefore criminals. There is no stratosphere of crime, however, we have dictated punishment based on what we as a society feel is suitable to the crime.
This gets my blood boiling and on a new tangent of how different people are perceived a different way for the same crime and action. As a black woman, this is something I think about all the time. If you don’t believe me, watch the news and read the newspaper. Watch the placement of pictures with crimes. If there is no picture, it is normally a white person who has committed the crime. If the person who committed the crime is of color, believe there will be a picture. I know; I have paid attention to it!
Now, back to the fact that crime is crime. I came to this conclusion because I am so tired of people saying what they would NEVER do with judgment against the person who committed the crime or sin. I have concluded that I know what I am prone to do. None of that worries me. What worries me is the things I am prone to do but have no idea I am capable of doing it.
I call it accidents waiting to habit. The right time the right temptation could equate to an accident. Speaking of accidents, a hit and run is my case-in-point situation. Now, I would like to think if I accidently hit a pedestrian or a bicyclist, I would stay and not flee.
Who knows what is going on through some one’s mind that hit and run? Fear. Flight. Panic? I have no idea. But it a good example for what I am trying to say. We can’t say what we would or would not do unless we are faced with that test.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Lens
I sometimes keep my glasses tucked into my shirt. One time, I leaned over, and they fell into the toilet. This led to a thorough cleaning, of course. When I put them, I realized how dirty they had been. I could see perfectly fine, but once I cleaned them, I realized how dirty they actually were.
It reminded me of the lyrics of Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue, which says, “Just when things went right, it doesn’t mean they were always wrong.”
I say all of that to say this, sometimes there is absolutely nothing wrong with where we are at right now. Sometimes God just wants something better for us. Or maybe God just wants to give us a different perspective on where we are or what we are looking at/dealing with.
We have all been damaged and scarred in some manner and this impacts our lens and view of life. I would like to think God is leading me on a path where my lens gets cleaner, which cause things to being clearer and hopefully more pure.
Oh, how I could long for an age of innocence right now, but I am afraid those days have indeed passed. Sigh.
It reminded me of the lyrics of Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue, which says, “Just when things went right, it doesn’t mean they were always wrong.”
I say all of that to say this, sometimes there is absolutely nothing wrong with where we are at right now. Sometimes God just wants something better for us. Or maybe God just wants to give us a different perspective on where we are or what we are looking at/dealing with.
We have all been damaged and scarred in some manner and this impacts our lens and view of life. I would like to think God is leading me on a path where my lens gets cleaner, which cause things to being clearer and hopefully more pure.
Oh, how I could long for an age of innocence right now, but I am afraid those days have indeed passed. Sigh.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Silencing the Inner Judge
Up until last year, I was constantly punishing my mother. She did not raise me, and I had a hard dealing with my negative feelings towards this. Then one day, it hit me. My mother has been punishing herself all of these years. I didn’t need to punish her, she was punishing herself. When I finally had the “I need to stop punishing you for the past conversation,” she told me she deserved it. Nothing could be further from the truth. In the end, all things did work for my good.
I say that to say that: We are our own worst critics. We spend so much time punishing ourselves and speaking negative about ourselves. We really don’t need anyone else to tear us down; we do a good job of discouraging ourselves. But how do we silence our inner judge/critic?
I realize it is the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart where the answer is for me. From there, I can give encouragement and compliments outward to edify someone else.
P.S. I figured out the Wales thing. I will spend an extra night there, which will make it worth the trip. I delayed/extended Edinburgh by one day. I will subtract one night from Belfast. I’m so excited. The countdown is on.
I say that to say that: We are our own worst critics. We spend so much time punishing ourselves and speaking negative about ourselves. We really don’t need anyone else to tear us down; we do a good job of discouraging ourselves. But how do we silence our inner judge/critic?
I realize it is the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart where the answer is for me. From there, I can give encouragement and compliments outward to edify someone else.
P.S. I figured out the Wales thing. I will spend an extra night there, which will make it worth the trip. I delayed/extended Edinburgh by one day. I will subtract one night from Belfast. I’m so excited. The countdown is on.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Staying Off the Ledge
This was written for my church newsletter. Volume VIII, Issue III of The PCC Scroll
A few weeks ago, I was on the ledge. I sent Pastor a text that simply said, “I need to make some changes.”
I had been feeling a bit off kilter. In early May, I was able to pinpoint an actual emotion. I was walking home one day when I realized what I was feeling. It could be summed up in one word: restless.
Once I defined the emotion, I blogged (http://latonja.blogspot.com/) about the feeling. In my blog, I was honest. I said that it was not a new emotion for me, but I was able to suppress the feeling most days. I went on to speak of the different directions my life could head in as I reach a crossroads in my life.
I turned 35 in March, and I am having “What is it all about?” moments. It is like Solomon seeking the meaning of life in Ecclesiastes 2. I too felt like I was chasing the wind. We had a windstorm a few days back, and I was not able to catch it. In chapter two, Solomon reminds us that a life seeking pleasure and riches is meaningless. The cure to my restlessness was not traveling, a new job, a new degree, or any other item on my newest “To Do” list.
When the editing team came together to write the Word of the Quarter, I mentioned my sense of restlessness and mused about what it could represent. Minister Jo Ann gave me an image that has helped. She spoke of a mother bird rustling the nest to coax her baby, which had gotten too comfortable, out of the nest and onto the next stage of its life.
The cure to my restlessness is to get over myself and serve God and others in a new way. I have gotten comfortable, fat, and lazy. I am used to doing things in my own time and way.
The truth is that in our humanity, we all struggle with something. At some points in our lives, we all fight battles. At times, we may even feel like we are being overtaken, and I think admitting to these feelings is necessary. In his book The Wounded Healer, Henri J. Nouwen speaks of ministers making their own wounds available as a source of healing. It is in that realness we can be authentic to a world that is suffering.
As I get older, I am more comfortable with being unplugged, honest and transparent. As we minister to broken people, our truth (good, bad, and ugly) coupled with the Good News of Jesus Christ and love will be the most authentic gift we can offer. It is in service to God and our fellow man that life takes shape and gains meaning.
A few weeks ago, I was on the ledge. I sent Pastor a text that simply said, “I need to make some changes.”
I had been feeling a bit off kilter. In early May, I was able to pinpoint an actual emotion. I was walking home one day when I realized what I was feeling. It could be summed up in one word: restless.
Once I defined the emotion, I blogged (http://latonja.blogspot.com/) about the feeling. In my blog, I was honest. I said that it was not a new emotion for me, but I was able to suppress the feeling most days. I went on to speak of the different directions my life could head in as I reach a crossroads in my life.
I turned 35 in March, and I am having “What is it all about?” moments. It is like Solomon seeking the meaning of life in Ecclesiastes 2. I too felt like I was chasing the wind. We had a windstorm a few days back, and I was not able to catch it. In chapter two, Solomon reminds us that a life seeking pleasure and riches is meaningless. The cure to my restlessness was not traveling, a new job, a new degree, or any other item on my newest “To Do” list.
When the editing team came together to write the Word of the Quarter, I mentioned my sense of restlessness and mused about what it could represent. Minister Jo Ann gave me an image that has helped. She spoke of a mother bird rustling the nest to coax her baby, which had gotten too comfortable, out of the nest and onto the next stage of its life.
The cure to my restlessness is to get over myself and serve God and others in a new way. I have gotten comfortable, fat, and lazy. I am used to doing things in my own time and way.
The truth is that in our humanity, we all struggle with something. At some points in our lives, we all fight battles. At times, we may even feel like we are being overtaken, and I think admitting to these feelings is necessary. In his book The Wounded Healer, Henri J. Nouwen speaks of ministers making their own wounds available as a source of healing. It is in that realness we can be authentic to a world that is suffering.
As I get older, I am more comfortable with being unplugged, honest and transparent. As we minister to broken people, our truth (good, bad, and ugly) coupled with the Good News of Jesus Christ and love will be the most authentic gift we can offer. It is in service to God and our fellow man that life takes shape and gains meaning.
Pass the Kleenex
I am totally not a crier. I will not let myself on any given situation. Case in point, I sat stoic and mad at my sister’s funeral. I just don’t cry very well.
So last Friday, I was just so frustrated with my job, life, and myself that I felt like my soul was crying and it was quite overwhelming.
Then on Sunday, I got on my car to go to church and this song called “Walking Her Home” was on the radio. I managed to back out of my parking space before I started crying. I then watched the video at work on Tuesday and started crying. I printed the lyrics and read them and started crying. There is a song by Brian McKnight called “Marilie” that makes me cry as well.
As far as I can tell the common theme is a man loving a woman with what I consider to be a true, pure, romantic love. I invite you to Google the lyrics.
I would love to have someone feel that way about me.
So last Friday, I was just so frustrated with my job, life, and myself that I felt like my soul was crying and it was quite overwhelming.
Then on Sunday, I got on my car to go to church and this song called “Walking Her Home” was on the radio. I managed to back out of my parking space before I started crying. I then watched the video at work on Tuesday and started crying. I printed the lyrics and read them and started crying. There is a song by Brian McKnight called “Marilie” that makes me cry as well.
As far as I can tell the common theme is a man loving a woman with what I consider to be a true, pure, romantic love. I invite you to Google the lyrics.
I would love to have someone feel that way about me.
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