Monday, May 2, 2011

Week 18

I am currently wondering about two different things about humanity. By this age, I am aware that a lot of my struggles, issues, and shortcomings aren’t unique to me. Many people have, are, or will struggled with some of the thorns that are on my side.

I wonder why it’s so hard for us to forgive ourselves. We are quick to forgive other people, but why is it so hard to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make?

I wonder why we replay situations and scenes from the day over and over again and torment ourselves with regret. We analysis and analysis and analysis situations, but why? These are things that won’t matter next week, month, or year.

Why then is it so hard to quiet the voices? Why is it so hard to silence our inner critic? Why are we are own worst enemy?

Today, I need help in forgiving myself. I need help in not replaying a situation that I can’t go back in time and change. I need help silencing my inner critic.

I haven’t found the “right” scripture on forgiving ourselves. I’m not talking about forgiving myself of any “sin” but rather forgiving myself for making a mistake. For example, I did a report at work, and I made a mistake in it. Now, my inner critic is beating me up.

Here are some scriptures I used for my devotional:

Isaiah 52:2, "Shake thyself from the dust; arise, and sit down, O Jerusalem: loose thyself from the bands of thy neck, O captive daughter of Zion."

Romans 8:1-2, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (NIV)

Galatians 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (NIV)

1 comment:

Liza said...

I found a great talk about repentance: http://lds.org/new-era/2010/03/finding-forgiveness?lang=eng&query=steps+repentance

But aside from repenting from actual "sin", I'd have to ask you, "Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?" I say this because, I've had to work hard to overcome perfectionism and from my own experience, I know it is brutal. If you think you have to be perfect, mistakes are absolutely intolerable! Even little ones. For me, there was a great fear of being "found out", that others would see my mistake and think poorly of me or yell at me. Comes from years of living with a narcissist. Even when I didn't live with that narcissist, the pattern of warped thinking still stuck in my head. So in effect, I was now the narcissist yelling at my own imperfections. I still have to catch myself when my thoughts get going in a "tape" or pattern of thinking that is automatic and destructive. When I catch the "tape" being played, I can challenge it, look at it, see it for what it is and then look at what is the truth. Because those "tapes" are such a lie! The "tapes" will tell you you're not good enough or stupid or bad and we have to challenge that! Making a mistake is ALLOWED! We can learn from it, make amends if we need to, correct it, ask for forgiveness and move on! I think of Sasha, my 7 year old. There are moments when I do something wrong...maybe I lose my temper and yell and hurt her feelings. I'll look at that sweet face and feel awful! So I'll apologize to her and she usually just runs to me and gives me a big hug and holds on tight! So quick to forgive! I think God is like that...loves us and quickly, easily forgives us and lets go of our mistakes. I think it can help sometimes to look at ourselves in the same way.