Despite my claims of being an introvert, loner, shy girl, there are times when I realize this statement is not true. Or maybe I’m just becoming more of an extrovert As Time Goes On. Or maybe they are “on” moments in time because there are times when something shines so brightly within me that I feel it.
I make friends on busses and airplane. Lately, it’s been older women, and I try to ask them the same questions: Are you happy? What is one thing you wish had done? What is your biggest regret?
I’m not quite sure why I am so interested or what I plan on doing with this info. I have a firm desire to be “happy”. Not saying life is all mountain-top experience but isn’t it possible to have joy even during the darkest hours?
So to my reader(s) (I know I have at least one, thanks Liza): Are you happy?
2 comments:
That's a funny question for me! Therapy is a wonderful thing. I have come to see that I've lived in, what I call, emotional midiocrity. I don't allow myself to get too happy for fear of getting equally low soon after. It comes from living in a dysfunctional home where I was made to feel bad when I felt good. (Narscissistic mothers will do that to you!) The message I got was that joy and happiness meant pain or depression soon after. So I avoided joy and happiness. So with much therapy, I've decided that I deserve joy!!! I'm really missing out if I sit at mediocrity! Yeah, I might have lows afterward, but that's part of life and Hey! I can handle it! I'm not a kid anymore! I have options to take care of myself. I've been paying more attention to that nagging voice from childhood that creeps up on me whenever I get an idea of something fun or enjoyable...the one that says, "No, you don't want to do that, it will be fun for about 5 minutes and then the "pain" will come, or the stress or the boredom, etc..." I try to ignore that voice and say, instead, "So what, at least I'll have my 5 minutes!" And you know what? I'm having more fun! I'm doing things that bring me joy! So now when the pain in life comes, as it always does at some point, I have lots of things around me and in my memory that can bring me joy, even in the midst of pain. Before, when I denied myself the little joys in life, and the painful moments came, they seemed to overwhelm me. Now, they are just temporary moments that are a part of life. They are not the general theme in my life.
So I would say, Yes! I'm happy! It doesn't mean that I don't ever have low points, but I acknowledge them and allow myself to recover and then move on to more joy in life. I am a human being! And human beings are meant to feel the full range of emotions, not sit in mediocrity.
LaTonja,
I read your blog too. You have some profound insights that always make me think...
Onto your question, I had someone ask me once "On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy is Amy Willis and why?" That has always stuck with me. I think we are meant to have an inner sense of peace and joy. That feeling comes from a God that loves us and wants us to be happy. There is a difference between that joy and being entertained though. He wants us to be happy even though we have trials that come our way. These trials, if we let them, can help us develop into all He wants us to become. (One of my favorite quotes is "Rain makes things grow." in regards to the trials of life.)
In college I had a semester that I was truly depressed. I prayed a lot for guidance and I felt inspired about two solutions. First, I needed to serve other people. Then I would see that my problems weren't so bad. Second, being happy took practice and momentum. I had to CHOOSE to be happy and then I would FEEL happy. These worked for me. I do have an inner joy and I am grateful for a loving Father that wants the best for his children, even if we don't always see it for what it is.
BTW, I think that it is awesome that you are asking the "wise among us" for life perspective. I'd bet there is a book that could be written from those snippets of wisdom.
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