Week 14

Psalm 1
1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

It feels like I am at the point of bringing forth my fruit. The huge caveat to this statement is not allowing fear, doubt, or self-protection get in the way. The other side of the huge caveat is not getting distracted by glittering objects that look like gold, but are really just that – distractions. These distractions often lead to some of event (or a series of unfortunate events) that sends one on an emotional rollercoaster – or as they say taking one step forward, and three steps back.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to free myself. A good example for this need is in my writing. I hold back a portion of myself because I don’t want to be vulnerable. A result of my childhood (and I can choose to take the barrier down) is that I am always prepared to defend myself. Part of this defense is not letting people all the way in. I am always prepared to flee and back away. With my writing, it’s holding back the part that would make me vulnerable to the reader.

As I mentioned last time, I am starting to see the person God created me to be, and I need to let her out. It starts with the writing. Part of me is starting to get nervous. I can see the pieces falling into place and that is a little bit nerve wrecking for me!

I choose Psalm 1 for my devotional. Part of my unfolding - or rising from the ashes to be dramatic - will be in keeping my relationship with God front and center in my life. It’s easy to make my job or relationships front and center, but everything now centers on God.

I read the first verse over and over again. The other part of my unfolding will be surrounded myself with people going in the right direction.