Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
I started the year off with wanting to be a “better person.” In my mind, I know what this means, but it isn’t easy to put it clearly on paper.
As I have been doing my weekly devotional day, I try to keep this in mind. In my day-to-day interaction with people, it’s hard dealing with folks sometimes. I have always considered myself a compassionate person. My temper, when it rises, deflates as quickly as it came. I try to be kind, but sometimes people mistake kindnesses for weakness and I have to battle the part of me that wants to body slam them. Humility, will if I say I am humble, then doesn’t that mean I am not. I try to be gentle and patient.
I keep deleting the next paragraph I am trying to write. Has someone every hurt you and you reacted to that hurt. Because you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, you apologized at them for lashing out, but they remain “unrepentant” and seemingly unaware of their part of the problem? It’s like your apology to them is interpreted as they we were the one initially wronged? I find this so irritating, but God keeps telling me that I have done my part and to let it go. But I want to rage and ask when will their offense to me be dealt with? I hope that came out right.
Every since I started this process, things have been sort of weird. When I prayed yesterday during my fast, I couldn’t even get out what I was trying to say out. I believe that God knows what I am trying to say even if I can’t get it out right. One of the many things I appreciate about God is that he knows my heart even when I can’t get the words out.
I wish that this current season would pass, but I know the process is trying to get me to a new place where I can be a person who walks in God’s love.
1 comment:
I have to say, I really admire your persistence and dedication to this goal! I don't know of many people who would devote so much time and energy to such a worthy goal! We all know that the only person we can change is ourselves, but it's soooo easy to be lazy and just point fingers. (I am just as guilty of that as anyone!) Reading your blog makes me stop and ask myself what I've been doing to work on myself. You're an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your journey with me!
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