Relationship Freedom

From July 1, 2010 PCC Scroll

My aunt that raised me died in early June. Death brings many questions about the health of a relationship. Did I visit enough? Did I call enough? What was our last conversation? Did I make time for them, or did I rush them off of the phone? Did I tell them I loved them?

Relationships are like gardens. They must be nourished, watered, and groomed. If not, they will be forgotten, abandoned, and grow wild. A week will become a month. A month will become a year. Weeds will consume the relationship and suck it dry. In the end, the root of the issues that caused the problems become so entangled and intertwined that they are hard to sort out.

An important step in maintaining a relationship is having closure with people. If past grudges, hurts, and disappointments have not been addressed, get them out in the open so healing can begin. Life is too short to hold on to past pain. At some point in time, it will be too late for regrets. What would have, could have, and should have been is not what is.

Matthew 18:15-17 says, “… if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”

Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

The Bible puts ownership on you! Relationship closure leads to emotional freedom. If people don’t know they hurt you, they have no way of making amends. How many of us have held on to past transgressions and seen it impact other relationships in a negative way? Meanwhile, the person causing so much emotional stress is living their life fancy free without the slightest idea of the torment in your life. God wants you to be free.

I will leave you with Matthew 7:2-5. It says, “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” None of us are perfect. Forgive, let go, and move on.