This was written for my church newsletter. This issue enters us into year 10!
Michael W. Smith sings a song called “Heart of Worship.” One of the lines of the song is, “You search much deeper within through the way things appear you’re looking into my heart.” But, how do we know what is really in the hearts of people?
Lately, I’ve had two reoccurring thoughts. The first thought is that things are not as they appear. The second thought is that people are not who they appear to be. I feel like there is something going on that I am missing. I feel like there is a message in the atmosphere that is ringing out. Have you ever felt like God was trying to tell you something, but every day, mundane life was drowning out the message?
A portion of my feelings stem from the fact that I am beginning to comprehend that the time I long for has long since slipped away. I realize that the harsher realities of life and the darker side of the human condition have wreaked havoc on my sensitive, inner child. The age of innocence has indeed ended, if it ever were.
There is a Portuguese word, saudades, that I heard described as, “Nostalgia for a time or a place or a thing that may never have been and may never be.” Perhaps our memories of the past are rosier than the truth, which is why we keep turning back to it even though God is telling us to move forward.
I am trying to move forward, and I find comfort in the fact that God sees and understands the real me. Even when I was known as the “mean usher,” God saw me as more than that. Despite what people don’t understand, know, or comprehend, God sees our hearts. So, even though I can’t shake the feeling that things are not what they seem and people are not who they appear to be, it doesn’t matter.
God is a God who knows and sees all. My judgments of people are often based on my own (often bias) perception, with little insight of their heart, their past, and their God-given future. No matter what our past or present sins and crimes are, none of us are beyond repentance. If one of us is not, then none of us are.
The year of 2011 is going to be an interesting year. God is challenging me to become a better person. I can be a better woman, friend, colleague, neighbor, and citizen. I can do a better job of using my gifts and talents for the Kingdom. Of course, this would involve being less selfish, which is something I struggle with. It is time for me to gauge and understand the signs of the times. The Bible continually tells us to let him who has an ear to hear, hear. I want to hear.
Even when I look in the mirror and face my own internal struggles, I have to hold on to my faith that whatever is in front of me is better than what I have been. Our latter will be greater!
1 comment:
Saudades! I know that word very well! When I speak to anyone else who speaks Portuguese, all I have to do is say, "Eu tenho saudades de Portugal." and they know what I mean. "I miss and long for Portugal." Saudades is that longing for something much loved and dear to the heart. There is a lot of implied meaning in that word!
I love what you said here about people not being what they appear to be. For most of us, it's a reminder not to judge since we don't know the whole story behind each person we meet. But I think it also reminds us that we came from Divinity and we are are all a work in progress on our way to being more like the God we came from. We are all children of a king and have a royal heritage. We are all in "school" learning how to be like our Father. Sometimes we do poorly on a test, but if we work hard, we can all get top grades!
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