Psalm 121
1I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
3He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
This has been a very interesting year. Nothing is “wrong” but nothing “feels” quite “right” either. I feel a little uneasy in my own skin. I’m not quite where I was, but I am not quite were I am going to end up. I haven’t felt this under construction in a long time. In some ways, I feel a little “lost.” Not quite sure where I belong or where I am going. I just need to look to God.
This is why I choose Psalm 121. My focus is straight ahead even if my vision is a little bit fuzzy. Life comes in seasons, and this season too shall pass in its own due time.
I sometimes get glances of myself and my reactions, and it’s not pretty. I can’t blame not feeling “comfortable” right now. This current season is trying to teach me not to react. It’s trying to teach me to always let my light shine. To remember that death and life are in the power of the tongue. To focus on what is good, pure, honest, just, etc. To remember that love will help make me make the right decision.
I am in the hardest battle I have ever had to fight. I knew why I do or react certain ways; however, it doesn’t give me license to. I can find the justification to do and say many things, but it doesn’t mean I should. I have a choice. I will keep my eyes on God, and I will choose to reach down and be a person who shows love, peace, and joy when convenient and not convenient. We all have “bad” days, but even our "bad" days can be tempered with a little focus.
My prayers continue to be a little unfocused. I ramble and come back to where I started. I don’t know many things. I do know that God is with me.
1 comment:
Your blog reminds me of a lesson I learned long ago: First, you become aware of your faults. Then you learn how to fix them, then you get to practice. Practice is when the same old thing that sets you down the wrong path gets put in your way again and you get to show that you really learned how to do things differently. Practice can feel draining, like you are never going to get past that particular thing in your life. But I find that if I stick to doing things in a better way, that old thing gets smaller and smaller until it doesn't even bother me anymore. You sound like you are in practice mode right now. So stick to it!
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