In my 2015 Christmas letter, I wrote that 2015 was a year where I feel like I was waiting for time to let me out of situations. As you know, time is a funny thing. We are either wanting it to slow down to enjoy the moment or speed up to end a painful season. In the overall scheme of life, time moves very quickly. Each year seems to fly by faster and faster. Yet there are seasons (even in my quickly fading days) that seem to drag on and on and on. I am in the midst of such a season.
The Bible talks about “in due time.” Pointing to the excellency of God’s timing. But I can’t help to think in this current season of my life that my timing and God’s timing are way out of alignment. I can think of a few things I want right now, but the answer seems to be not yet. I find myself continuously asking/whispering, “God,” in a very small voice. There have been a few times in the very near past where this has led to discouragement on my part, as I don’t really handle disappointment that well.
Outside of the faith aspect of realizing I need to trust God’s timing and that God holds my future, I realized I am so focused on a destination that I am forgetting to enjoy the journey. If I were trying to scale Mt. Rainier, would I not take the time to enjoy the changing scenery as I crested higher?
I felt 2015 was a dismal year, but as I wrote my letter, I was reminded of all the good and enjoyable moments. Moments that would have been more poignant if I had not been (in the back of my mind) despairing. I’ve been contemplating how my current situation fits into being a good steward, and my feeling is that it has to do with maximizing where I am now while preparing for where I am trying to go.
So, instead of focusing on what I don’t have/what I want (right now), I need to focus on what I do have and make sure I am maximizing on that. It’s easy to want a house on the hill. But, if I am not taking care of the one-bedroom condo I have now, what makes me think I would be a good steward over more? It’s easy to think more money, more travel, a new job, a relationship, etc. will make me happy. But what I really need to focus on is being grounded in God’s joy, which is most evident while I am working in my gifting (like working on the newsletter).
In the end, it’s easy to want the stars and the moon, but I have to continually ask myself, “Am I willing to pay the cost?” as well as, “What am I doing to prepare?” Things will come in God’s time. In the meanwhile, I do need to be a good steward over what God has placed in my hands now. I firmly believe greater is coming, but I also believe there is a cost and that there is preparation.
Whatever God has placed in your hands, I admonish you to be a good steward in your care of it. God see’s your work, and He will bless you with more in due time. I don’t know about you, but I want more. That means I have to use what I have now and prepare for what is coming!
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