I’ve long suspected that I am a spoiled brat, and I have recently concluded that the statement is TRUE!
A man I used to “talk to” always called me “The Brat”. My response was always along the lines that it was not my fault people spoiled me.
Recently, I was denied something I really, really, really wanted. I was more than disappointed that I didn’t get it. I was traumatized and felt a host of negative emotions. The saddest part in my saying all this is that I was not grateful to what I received. As a matter of fact, I lost sight of the fact that I am truly a blessed person.
It was not my finest hour, and I think of this song we sing at my church that says, “Grateful, grateful, gratefulness is flowing from my heart.” Um, yeah, it was not.
The women’s group at my church is reading the Purpose Driven Life together. We started today with day one. And what does day one tell me. It says, “It’s not about me.” Timing is everything, and unfortunately I am in much need of being reminded of that simple revelation.
I do wonder when I get caught up in my wants, desires, longings, etc. that I forgot it’s not about me. It’s about reaching out to the loss and providing for those in need. I have more than I need, and the fact that I want more is a poor reflection of who I am right now.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
On the Ledge
So, I spent most of this week on the ledge. Luckily, I was able to talk to my pastor and his wife – who are like parents to me – before I jumped or acted irrational.
In the end, what put me up there is trivial and small, but I had a major reaction towards it. In the end that is okay, but I realize now that this problem like any other probably is only as big (or small) as I make it.
No worries, I’m off the ledge.
In the end, what put me up there is trivial and small, but I had a major reaction towards it. In the end that is okay, but I realize now that this problem like any other probably is only as big (or small) as I make it.
No worries, I’m off the ledge.
I Believe That Children are Our Future
The children in my life are absolutely amazing. Even though I openly refer to a few of them (affectionately) as “birth control, I’m learning many things from them.
First of all, I am amazed how honest and open children are. It’s actually refreshing. With adults, it’s sometimes hard to gage the truth. With children, they are direct and to the point. I never have to question where I stand with them. I wonder at what age we lose this natural honesty.
I am also struck that the biggest gift I can give a child is my time. This is the one thing they want, yet the thing that is hardest for me to do. I could go out and spend hundreds of dollars on a gift, but the gift that really goes over well is a gift that leads me to spend time with the child.
I was reminded of this last Sunday where there were two birthday parties to attend – ahem, next year lets combine the parties – but I was struck that my presence alone was the real gift to the child. The icing on the cake was my actually engaging in the gift with them. When this is not a profound revelation, I was reminded again of it.
I pledge to spend more time with the kids in my life. They deserve it, and in the end, they edify me in ways they may not even realize. They ask questions that make me think, and they challenge me to look past my own desires and wants, which is no small feat.
First of all, I am amazed how honest and open children are. It’s actually refreshing. With adults, it’s sometimes hard to gage the truth. With children, they are direct and to the point. I never have to question where I stand with them. I wonder at what age we lose this natural honesty.
I am also struck that the biggest gift I can give a child is my time. This is the one thing they want, yet the thing that is hardest for me to do. I could go out and spend hundreds of dollars on a gift, but the gift that really goes over well is a gift that leads me to spend time with the child.
I was reminded of this last Sunday where there were two birthday parties to attend – ahem, next year lets combine the parties – but I was struck that my presence alone was the real gift to the child. The icing on the cake was my actually engaging in the gift with them. When this is not a profound revelation, I was reminded again of it.
I pledge to spend more time with the kids in my life. They deserve it, and in the end, they edify me in ways they may not even realize. They ask questions that make me think, and they challenge me to look past my own desires and wants, which is no small feat.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Letting Go
I awoke this morning with two sets of thoughts. This is the second.
I tend to hold myself back. This is true in a lot of areas. I pledge to open myself and simply just let go.
I remember when I was in college. I invited a gentleman I liked over. During the course of the evening, he read my poetry. When he read some of my poems, he gave me the realest, honest, helpful assessment about my poems. This is an assessment my PhD-laden professors never gave me.
His assessment was simply: You hold yourself back.
What he meant was that the poetry would start out powerful and open, but in the end, I would shy away from the honesty and openness that led the reader in.
Part of the problem is that I tend to be miles away from where I am. My mind is in a constant state of motion, which actually is not a bad thing, but sometimes the voices need to be silenced.
Another part of the problem is that I tend to sit back and absorb what is going on around me, which is actually not a bad thing either, but at some place in time I must engage.
I am going to learn to let go. I am going to learn to be honest and open in my writing and life even if that openness leads to being vulnerable.
I’m wide open. LOL!
I tend to hold myself back. This is true in a lot of areas. I pledge to open myself and simply just let go.
I remember when I was in college. I invited a gentleman I liked over. During the course of the evening, he read my poetry. When he read some of my poems, he gave me the realest, honest, helpful assessment about my poems. This is an assessment my PhD-laden professors never gave me.
His assessment was simply: You hold yourself back.
What he meant was that the poetry would start out powerful and open, but in the end, I would shy away from the honesty and openness that led the reader in.
Part of the problem is that I tend to be miles away from where I am. My mind is in a constant state of motion, which actually is not a bad thing, but sometimes the voices need to be silenced.
Another part of the problem is that I tend to sit back and absorb what is going on around me, which is actually not a bad thing either, but at some place in time I must engage.
I am going to learn to let go. I am going to learn to be honest and open in my writing and life even if that openness leads to being vulnerable.
I’m wide open. LOL!
Great Expectations
When I was in first grade, my family moved mid-way through the year. Before that, I went to a school called Larsen Heights. My teacher was the dreaded Mrs. Zingler (question on spelling). To put it mildly, I did not excel in her class. By the time we moved, Mrs. Z. had already decided I should be held back another year.
But the family moved. The sad thing is that I don’t remember my next teacher’s name. What I do remember is that he immediately labeled me as “smart”, and I remember I excelled in his class. From that point on, it was A’s and B’s for me throughout my tenure as a student in the Moses Lake School District.
If memory serves correctly, he fought Mrs. Z.’s assessment that I should be held back, and I was not. From that point forward, all my teachers expected me to perform well, and I responded well to that expectation. This has held true in my life. There have been times in my life were I achieved the impossible due to the voices around me telling me I could.
I remember a few things about MLHS. One, my high school counselor called me into her office to ask me which university I would attend. I suppose I did have a choice, but her expectation led me down that road. I had been planning on applying for university on the west side of the mountain anyway. On a side note, I disappointed her a little. She wanted me to go to Harvard, and she wanted me to at least apply. LOL.
I remember months before I turned 18, I was summoned to the principal’s office. I remember all my classmates were like “O-O, what did you do?” The reason for the summons? They wanted me to register to vote. I have never missed an election since I was eligible to vote. I imagine I would have registered on my own, but again that (my duty to vote) expectation was placed before me.
I say all that to say this, I expect great things from President-elect Obama.
I realize that there are people who do not share my optimism. While I am getting hope-filled emails and texts, there are people who are sending out messages of gloom and doom. I even saw an email that declared that the great U.S.A. was dissolved on 11/04/08. What drama!
What am I getting at? I suppose I am getting at the importance of expectations. Perception is truly a powerful thing. Why not open your mind and heart to expecting something marvelous and divine. Once you are open to it, it will come to past.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, it is my desire for Obama to go down as one of the greatest presidents alive. And, yes, part of that wish is because of my pride in a fellow black person being voted into the highest office in this country. I also wish to negate the nay-sayers and those would seek to belittle and counter the hope that is spreading.
As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of Elizabeth I. At the beginning of her reign, England was one of the poorest, sitting-duck countries in the known world. When she departed the earth, England had entered its Golden Age and was a world power.
My hope and belief of the glory of the future is intense. I expect great things. That, I think, is half the battle.
But the family moved. The sad thing is that I don’t remember my next teacher’s name. What I do remember is that he immediately labeled me as “smart”, and I remember I excelled in his class. From that point on, it was A’s and B’s for me throughout my tenure as a student in the Moses Lake School District.
If memory serves correctly, he fought Mrs. Z.’s assessment that I should be held back, and I was not. From that point forward, all my teachers expected me to perform well, and I responded well to that expectation. This has held true in my life. There have been times in my life were I achieved the impossible due to the voices around me telling me I could.
I remember a few things about MLHS. One, my high school counselor called me into her office to ask me which university I would attend. I suppose I did have a choice, but her expectation led me down that road. I had been planning on applying for university on the west side of the mountain anyway. On a side note, I disappointed her a little. She wanted me to go to Harvard, and she wanted me to at least apply. LOL.
I remember months before I turned 18, I was summoned to the principal’s office. I remember all my classmates were like “O-O, what did you do?” The reason for the summons? They wanted me to register to vote. I have never missed an election since I was eligible to vote. I imagine I would have registered on my own, but again that (my duty to vote) expectation was placed before me.
I say all that to say this, I expect great things from President-elect Obama.
I realize that there are people who do not share my optimism. While I am getting hope-filled emails and texts, there are people who are sending out messages of gloom and doom. I even saw an email that declared that the great U.S.A. was dissolved on 11/04/08. What drama!
What am I getting at? I suppose I am getting at the importance of expectations. Perception is truly a powerful thing. Why not open your mind and heart to expecting something marvelous and divine. Once you are open to it, it will come to past.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, it is my desire for Obama to go down as one of the greatest presidents alive. And, yes, part of that wish is because of my pride in a fellow black person being voted into the highest office in this country. I also wish to negate the nay-sayers and those would seek to belittle and counter the hope that is spreading.
As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of Elizabeth I. At the beginning of her reign, England was one of the poorest, sitting-duck countries in the known world. When she departed the earth, England had entered its Golden Age and was a world power.
My hope and belief of the glory of the future is intense. I expect great things. That, I think, is half the battle.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Message to Barack and "some people"
Message to President-Elect Obama:
I pledge to pray for you.
I pledge to pray for your safety. Individuals with malice and hatred in their heart have spoken negativity into the atmosphere. Let that spirit be bound and come up against. May the angels of heaven encompass around you.
I pledge to pray that history will remember you as one of the greatest presidents of the United States of America. I pray that those people who falsely accused you will acknowledge their slander and acknowledge the achievements you accomplished during your TWO terms in office.
Message to the haters:
Um, stop calling Barack the messiah. The Messiah has already come. There is no need for another.
I'm a little concerned over your motive to refer to him as that, but I will save that for another posting.
Message to the confused:
Stop calling Barack the Moses of our people. If we must use this analogy, we must use it correctly. Remember that Moses did not enter into the Promise Land. It was JOSHUA who led the Children of Israel into the Promise Land. Brush off your Bibles and get the comparison right. Consider MLK Moses, and consider Obama Joshua. I don’t want to see any more Moses references in the news.
I pledge to pray for you.
I pledge to pray for your safety. Individuals with malice and hatred in their heart have spoken negativity into the atmosphere. Let that spirit be bound and come up against. May the angels of heaven encompass around you.
I pledge to pray that history will remember you as one of the greatest presidents of the United States of America. I pray that those people who falsely accused you will acknowledge their slander and acknowledge the achievements you accomplished during your TWO terms in office.
Message to the haters:
Um, stop calling Barack the messiah. The Messiah has already come. There is no need for another.
I'm a little concerned over your motive to refer to him as that, but I will save that for another posting.
Message to the confused:
Stop calling Barack the Moses of our people. If we must use this analogy, we must use it correctly. Remember that Moses did not enter into the Promise Land. It was JOSHUA who led the Children of Israel into the Promise Land. Brush off your Bibles and get the comparison right. Consider MLK Moses, and consider Obama Joshua. I don’t want to see any more Moses references in the news.
Hello
Greetings friends and family! I'm finally getting my blog together. For now, I have posted articles I wrote for my church's newsletter. I will post some of my poetry in the near future. You know a sister has a lot to say. I guess I'll just begin saying it! LOL. Check back often. XOXO
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